This round wasn't bad either... not quite as good as the previous one, but by all my standards, a "good" one. It's interesting how I rate them now....compare them to previous chemos and figure out how to improve how I feel. My little science experiments, I guess!
This one was a bit harder emotionally though. It's been one year now since I started chemo. March 20, 2006 was the day I received my first chemo. This isn't an anniversary I'm going to celebrate! 14 chemos later, I'm still going through it. That kind of hit home this chemo and it's been a struggle for me emotionally. I mean, I'm obviously happy I'm still alive... but it's been a horrible year and this chemo is wearing me down. It's tough to go through chemo month after month knowing that you're going to feel horrible for one week out of every four.
I also hate what this is doing to Kurtis. He's starting to show fears of things he's never been afraid of. When we flew to Florida, he was terrified to fly because he was afraid of crashing. He remembered a discussion we had a long time ago about 9-11 and the planes that crashed that day. Last night, he had a headache (after a long day of skiing in warm weather with sunlight reflecting off the snow - not surprising!). He happened to see a commercial about strokes and one of the symptoms was headache. He got very scared and immediately jumped to the conclusion that because of the headache, he might have cancer (he missed the stroke part, but jumped to cancer instead). It took a while to reassure him that he did NOT have cancer or a stroke, and that the headache was just caused by all his activity that day. A few other things have happened too.... so we now have an agreement that we won't talk about anything that I think he might think is scary.
Please keep us all in your prayers. For healing for me, for strength and calmness for Kurtis, strength for Tom as he continues to be the rock in our family...
I'll work on a more cheery post for tomorrow. I promise!