Someone tell me again why I thought moving would be a good idea? Moving the same week/day as Dad and Menny? Moving the same month as the wedding, 2 week vacation, beginning of school? Ah... the fleeting moments of stupidity...
We have been busy going to the bank, packing boxes, seeing lawyers, recycling a TON of unwanted stuff, trying to help Dad pack a little here and there, preparing for a vacation and wedding... I'm sure you're getting the picture. If my camera were working, I'd add a snappy little picture of our or Dad's boxes. It's a sight to see.
It's also a sigh to see. Change is good. Change is hard. I've been doing a lot of sighing lately. Sighing over the mountain of work that awaits us. Sighing over the work that awaits Dad and Menny separately and together. Sighing over the money it costs to move. Sighing that I have no patience or time for my kids right now. Sighing over where all this stuff came from!
But my biggest sighs come from being in Dad's house the last little while. This was the only house I lived in as a child. Dad and Mom had had it for 40ish years.I'll admit, it ain't been easy. Emptying my first little bedroom where my earliest memories are. This same room that Mom spent her last days in. Seeing the bathtub and recalling the picture of 5 year old Annette was holding 6 month old Lisa. Picturing the basement before renos where I learned to rollerskate, played hopscotch and school, made forts. Packing up the records that Annette and I sang and danced to. Every nook and cranny has memories, almost all happy ones.
I know I take the memories with me. They are in my heart and not in the house. But it is an emotional change. It is a good change, but still a difficult adjustment. I wonder how I will feel to see a new family in the house in two weeks. I hope they love it as much as we did. Don't worry, I think this is a great move for Dad and am very happy for him. I will be OK. I'm getting used to change (not really). But please excuse my sighs for now.
(And let's not talk about leaving our house for the last time yet...)
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Friday, July 25, 2008
Could've, Would've, Should've Been's....
The premature departure of loved ones from this earth often leaves behind these phrases. It should be like this… it could have been like that… it would have been now... I, too, have had these thoughts: It should have been Annette and me taking the kids to Zooz the other day while the guys golfed. It would have been our eighth vacation together this summer. It could’ve been such happy times. Yes, I do occasionally go down that road… *sigh*
What about what should have beens? Should we have to mourn Mom and Annette in a 13 month period? Should we have to pack up all of Mom’s stuff and Annette’s stuff? Should half of Dad and my family be gone so (in our eyes) prematurely? Should we have to go on without them? Should we have to learn to live with this pain for the rest of our lives?
But, more often, I think of the other could’ve, would’ve, should’ves. Annette could’ve died 23 years ago from cancer (Hodgkin’s) if modern medicine hadn’t cured her! (People can be so negative about cancer treatments (which I totally understand) but Annette really was an example that treatment can work. She experienced 21 years of perfect health! I am thankful for the modern medicine we have, as "flawed" as it sometimes may seem) She would’ve never traveled, became a CA, met Tom or had 2 incredible kids. We would’ve missed out on all those years of much closer relationship and love. Of a growing family that we continue to enjoy today.
But here’s what really cuts me to the core. So many penultimate could’ve, should’ve, would’ves…: I could’ve been born a Jew in WWII. I might’ve been born a child during the crusade. I would’ve been left to die or sit in an orphanage had I been born as a female in many places in the world. I could live in Darfur or Bosnia. I could be watching my children die of AIDS or starvation in Africa. I could be born to a Buddhist family in a far away country. It could go on and on. But this is not my story. I am blessed. And grateful.
And here is the definitive should have: I should be responsible for my sin. I should suffer the consequences. I should be eternally rejected and alone. But I’m not. Amazing love.
When I play the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve game, I try to keep these things in mind.
What about what should have beens? Should we have to mourn Mom and Annette in a 13 month period? Should we have to pack up all of Mom’s stuff and Annette’s stuff? Should half of Dad and my family be gone so (in our eyes) prematurely? Should we have to go on without them? Should we have to learn to live with this pain for the rest of our lives?
But, more often, I think of the other could’ve, would’ve, should’ves. Annette could’ve died 23 years ago from cancer (Hodgkin’s) if modern medicine hadn’t cured her! (People can be so negative about cancer treatments (which I totally understand) but Annette really was an example that treatment can work. She experienced 21 years of perfect health! I am thankful for the modern medicine we have, as "flawed" as it sometimes may seem) She would’ve never traveled, became a CA, met Tom or had 2 incredible kids. We would’ve missed out on all those years of much closer relationship and love. Of a growing family that we continue to enjoy today.
But here’s what really cuts me to the core. So many penultimate could’ve, should’ve, would’ves…: I could’ve been born a Jew in WWII. I might’ve been born a child during the crusade. I would’ve been left to die or sit in an orphanage had I been born as a female in many places in the world. I could live in Darfur or Bosnia. I could be watching my children die of AIDS or starvation in Africa. I could be born to a Buddhist family in a far away country. It could go on and on. But this is not my story. I am blessed. And grateful.
And here is the definitive should have: I should be responsible for my sin. I should suffer the consequences. I should be eternally rejected and alone. But I’m not. Amazing love.
When I play the could’ve, should’ve, would’ve game, I try to keep these things in mind.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Happy 9th Birthday, Sara!!
Sunday was Sara's birthday, and boy, did we celebrate!She had a party at a play place on Friday with 8 of her friends. Saturday, we had Kurtis and Ryan over and went to Zooz, followed by a BBQ at our place. Sunday, her actual birthday, we had family over and opened yet another round of presents. Boy, is this girl spoiled!! Everything Hannah Montana has entered our house. Gone are the days of Barney and Sesame Street and into Hannah Montana and High School Musical. Can't say I miss the former much, though!!
I have already packed the digital camera attachments so I can't upload any pictures until the new house. So the best I could do was LAST year's birthday picture (she still looks the same, just change the 8 to a 9 LOL) and last year's recital picture. I also can't share some of the great pictures I took of the boys at Zooz on Saturday. Man...
It's hard to believe she is 9 already! Where does the time go?? Sara has a great sense of humour, loves to laugh and be silly and is such a blessing to our lives!
Happy birthday, girl!! We love you bunches!!
Thursday, July 17, 2008
SOLD!! Part Two...
Things are looking good for us, too! Today we accepted an offer on our house. It is conditional on inspection, financing and waiting for a certificate on their place, but they have already sold their place and get this: They requested the closing date that is the same day we get our new place!! How great is that? I asked if they knew that we needed to move then, and apparently, it is just a co-incedence (God's providence!). Fabulous! So hopefully, all things will go smoothly and we can relax for the rest of the summer (or maybe get to packing).
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
SOLD!!
Dad and Menny both have sold signs on their front lawns. Hooray! Now comes the *fun* part of packing in a hurry. Ughhh...
Dad's looking for a flat driveway to camp out in. Any takers....? :)
Dad's looking for a flat driveway to camp out in. Any takers....? :)
Friday, July 11, 2008
R and R
Where does the time go???
July has been a fabulous month of rest and relaxation and catch up. It has been a time for me to catch up on house responsibilities-fastracked because we had to put our house up for sale. What normally would take me 6 weeks, I accomplished in 2 due to the "For Sale" sign on the front lawn. Plus, our house is now in magazine style neatness. I think we should permanently have our house for sale if it means it will stay as neat and clean as it is now.
We have done a ton of decluttering. Let me tell you, this is good for the body and soul! Getting rid of and releasing all that "stuff" that literally weighs you down is so liberating! You know, the jolly jumper, baby toys, old bikes, (the kids are now 6 and 9), textbooks and on and on, all that stuff that really makes you feel some stress. It is so great to have empty shelves, an empty basement, empty closets (OK so Steve's sister's basement is half full of our boxes, but still!) I really hope to keep our clutter in check in our new house. (Somehow it just regenerates itself though.... how does that happen??) (Right...kids...)
Dad and Menny have both tentatively sold their houses, but will each need to be out in a few weeks. Good thing they have a motorhome for one of them and relatives who like them!! Hopefully it won't be too crazy! We have had some showings but no bites yet.
Kurtis is away at camp for 10 days. I worry about him being away from home, but Tom says he was fine when he left, he has some buddies he knows and thinks he'll be OK. Say a prayer for him that he's enjoying himself. The nanny hasn't arrived yet, but Tom has been able to patch some help together. Ryan is going to camp this week (horseback riding?) and hopefully is enjoying it too. There's not much that kid doesn't enjoy! I'm looking forward to having the boys down next weekend while the guys go golfing. It will be great to see them again since it's been several weeks.
Thanks for checking on us!
July has been a fabulous month of rest and relaxation and catch up. It has been a time for me to catch up on house responsibilities-fastracked because we had to put our house up for sale. What normally would take me 6 weeks, I accomplished in 2 due to the "For Sale" sign on the front lawn. Plus, our house is now in magazine style neatness. I think we should permanently have our house for sale if it means it will stay as neat and clean as it is now.
We have done a ton of decluttering. Let me tell you, this is good for the body and soul! Getting rid of and releasing all that "stuff" that literally weighs you down is so liberating! You know, the jolly jumper, baby toys, old bikes, (the kids are now 6 and 9), textbooks and on and on, all that stuff that really makes you feel some stress. It is so great to have empty shelves, an empty basement, empty closets (OK so Steve's sister's basement is half full of our boxes, but still!) I really hope to keep our clutter in check in our new house. (Somehow it just regenerates itself though.... how does that happen??) (Right...kids...)
Dad and Menny have both tentatively sold their houses, but will each need to be out in a few weeks. Good thing they have a motorhome for one of them and relatives who like them!! Hopefully it won't be too crazy! We have had some showings but no bites yet.
Kurtis is away at camp for 10 days. I worry about him being away from home, but Tom says he was fine when he left, he has some buddies he knows and thinks he'll be OK. Say a prayer for him that he's enjoying himself. The nanny hasn't arrived yet, but Tom has been able to patch some help together. Ryan is going to camp this week (horseback riding?) and hopefully is enjoying it too. There's not much that kid doesn't enjoy! I'm looking forward to having the boys down next weekend while the guys go golfing. It will be great to see them again since it's been several weeks.
Thanks for checking on us!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)