Friday, August 25, 2006

The light is returning

I'm feeling a bit better today - emotionally and physically. I've had some time to process this news and deal with it. I think one of the hardest things is waiting for the next steps. Not having a game plan in place when we heard the news made it worse as there didn't seem to be anywhere to go. But, we WILL have something in place. There are other options.

I have also been incredibly encouraged by the support of people who've emailed, posted on my blog, called, dropped off a book or cookies (I have a wonderful cookie fairy who delivers fairly regularly). Your support means the world to me. Even if you don't know what to say, and honestly, I totally understand how hard it is, just the fact that you're thinking and praying for me lifts me up.

I also met with my Pastor and his wife yesterday and was greatly encouraged by their wisdom and honesty.

Please continue to pray for healing, wisdom for the doctors as we map out a game plan, for strength for Tom and me, and for the gift of being able to find enjoyment in every day.


mum2brady said...

Annette, you guys are continually in our prayers! I can only imagine what you are feeling, and I wish I could do more than offer prayers and positive thoughts for you. The docs will find a way - miracles happen, and I'm praying for healing for you!


Anonymous said...

Annette... we are praying so hard for you, Tom and the boys...My sister-in-law is doing very well with "alternate medicine" for her cancer, she teaches Doctors about methods. I will check with her, I know there is a place in New Hamburg that has helped do miracles. I'll be in touch. Meanwhile... we pray and send love... Jen and John

Tara Marie said...

Annette.....I'm sitting here at home, as I wasn't able to make it north this weekend. I do want to make the trip over the next few months to come visit you. If we could meet in Niagra Falls, like you suggested, that would be great. I could stay at my brother/sister-in-laws and then drive up and visit with you, Tom and the boys. I know Emma Sage would love to see Ryan again!

Please know you are continously in my thoughts and prayers and I have faith that a new game plan will be found and that it will help you slay this monster.

All my love, Tara Marie & Emma Sage and clan

Tammy and Parker said...


Yes! There are other plans. I believe that there is a plan just right for you.

Please know that I think of you often. We keep you in our prayers each evening.

cylon said...

Many people know the importance of self confidence and try to boost their own by using many different personal development models. Self confidence to most people is the ability to feel at ease in most situations but low self confidence in many areas may be due to a lack of self esteem. Low self esteem takes a more subtle form that low self confidence. So if you are tired of feeling not good enough, afraid of moving towards your desires and goals, feel that no matter what you do it is just never good enough, then your self esteem could do with a boost.

Every day we make decisions based on our level of self-esteem. We also exhibit that level of self esteem to those around us through our behaviour. 90% of all communication is non-verbal - it is not what you say but ho you say it that matters! Your body language, tonality and facial gestures can all tell a completely different story to your words. It is our behaviour which influences others and people react to us by reading our non-verbal communications. Have you ever met someone you just didn't like although on the surface they seemed polite and courteous, or you met someone who seemed to speak confidently yet you knew they were really frightened underneath and just displaying bravado?

Parental and peer influences play a major part in moulding our level of self-esteem when we are children and in our early years of adolescence. The opinions of the people closest to us and how they reacted to us as individuals or part of the group was a dominant factor in the processes involved in forming our self esteem.

As adults we tend to perpetuate these beliefs about ourselves and in the vast majority of cases they are ridiculously erroneous. It is time to re-evaluate our opinion of ourselves and come to some new conclusions about these old belief patterns.

Ask yourself some serious question:
Is your long-held view about yourself accurate? Do we respect the sources from which we derived these beliefs? Most of the negative feedback we bought into as we were growing up actually came from people we have little or no respect for and as adults we would probably laugh their comments away! Yet the damage to your self esteem was done when you were very young and you still carry it with you to this day.

Is it possible that even those people you respected, who influenced your self-worth, were wrong? Perhaps they had low self esteem also.

As adults we have the opportunity to reshape our self-esteem. Try to judge accurately the feedback you receive from people you respect. This process will allow you to deepen your understanding of yourself and expand your self-image. It will also show you were you actually need to change things about yourself and were you don't. Many people are striving to better themselves in areas where they are just fine or actually excelling and it is only because they have an inaccurate picture of themselves in their minds due to low self esteem!

Setting small goals and achieving them will greatly boost your self-esteem. Identify your real weakness and strengths and begin a training program to better your inter-personal or professional skills. This will support you in your future big life goals and boost your self-esteem and self confidence to high levels you didn't existed!

Learn to recognise what makes you feel good about yourself and do more of it. Everyone has certain things that they do which makes them feel worthwhile but people with low self esteem tend to belittle these feelings or ignore them.

Take inventory of all the things that you have already accomplished in your life no matter how small they may seem. Recognise that you have made achievements in your life and remember all the positive things that you have done for yourself and others. Take a note of your failures and don't make excuses like "I'm just not good enough" or "I just knew that would happen to me", analyse the situation and prepare yourself better for the next time. If someone else created success, regardless of the obstacles, then you are capable of doing the same! Remember everyone has different strengths and weakness so do not judge your own performance against that of another just use them as inspiration and know that what one human being has achieved so can another!

Surround yourself with people who respect you and want what is best for you - people who are honest about your strengths and will help you work through your weakness. Give the same level of support to them!

Avoid people who continually undermine you or make you feel small. These people are just displaying very low self esteem. As your own self esteem grows you will find that you are no longer intimidated by another's self confidence or success and you can actually be joyful for them! Do things you love to do and that make you happy. A truly happy person never has low self esteem they are too busy enjoying life! By getting busy living your life with passion and joy you will not be able to be self-consciousness.

If you find yourself feeling self-conscious in any situation focus on the fact that others can tell and many of them will be feeling the same. Be honest. People respond to someone better if they openly say "To tell you the truth I'm a bit nervous" rather than displaying bravo or fake confidence that they can see right through. Their reactions to you, will show your mind at a deep level, that there was actually nothing to be frightened of and everything is great. If someone reacts to this negatively they are just displaying low self esteem and very quickly you will find others noticing this! Really listen to people when they talk to you instead of running through all the negative things that could happen in your head or focusing on your lack of confidence. People respond to someone who is truly with them in the moment..

Breath deeply and slow down. Don't rush to do things.

Stop the negative talk! 'I'm no good at that' or "I couldn't possibly do that" are affirmations that support your lack of self esteem. Instead say "I have never done that before but I am willing to try" or "how best can I do that?". Which leads us to the last point - the quality of the questions you ask yourself s very important.
When you ask a question it almost always has a preposition in it. For example, "How did I mess that up?" presumes that something was messed up, a better way of phrasing the question would be "what way can I fix this quickly?", as this presumes you can and will fix it. Or "How am I ever going to reach my goal?" could be rephrased as "what way will lead me to my goal quicker" presumes that you are going to reach your goal! Get the picture? Change the quality of your questions and your results will change!

Practise these techniques and watch your self esteem rise day by day. hypnosis

Anonymous said...

I just logged on today and noticed what I had missed from not logging on for almost a whole week. I don't know what to say......
You are a very strong person, Annette. I'm sorry you and the boys have to go through this. We pray for healing everyday. We will also now pray for happy days for you!
Sending you Love and Hugs!!!
Coby and the Boys

Nicole said...

I love you Annette and am praying constantly!

Anonymous said...

Dear Annette: It is hard to describe the sadness and frustration that even I felt at the news of your test results. I can only imagine what it felt like for you. You and your family are being constantly carried in the thoughts and prayers of many, many people.

I wish you peace, and the courage to keep finding the light, this day.

Lynn BF

Chris said...

I'm so happy to hear that you're resurfacing for air after the initial shock-

I so wish I could do more to help, but please know you are in my thoughts and prayers daily.

Chris (Nana's Mom)

Anonymous said...

To the Lammer fam.
I am happy to read that your pastor was some comfort to you,
and that you are climbing out of that dark valley and is able to some light, and soon you will stand on top see the sun rise again, and Tom and the boys will see your smile again.
Uncle Homer & Aunt Joan

Michelle said...

I'm glad to hear that your spirts have been lifted and you have a more positive outlook. You're constantly in my prayers.

Mis said...

How I wish that I lived closer. I'm always thinking of you but wish I could do so much more. Know that you are in our prayers.

Melissa, Bill and family

Amy & Emma said...

Annette, you're in my thoughts and prayers today and every day. I have faith that you are going to beat this, and look forward to the day when we can meet in person and Emma and I can shower you with real (not virtual!) hugs.

Anonymous said...

Hi Annette, Don't know what to say. Haven't checked in for a week--- and what a week to miss! Your fear and discouragement sounded so raw last week. Yet, even in your dispair, you were reminded of God's nearness. He does hold you in the palm of His hand(Isaiah)
In the dark days after David's death I sometimes felt like I was clinging to a microscopic thread that kept me connected to God. Over time the thread has varied in size from a thread to a large braided rope. I think now that that it is there only for my sense of security. God remains constant. We continue to pray for your healing as well as joy for you and your family.
Love, Alice

Anonymous said...

Dear Annette and Tom
So glad you were able to have a week with your family, parents & Lisa & Steve and family at the cottage, even though you felt ill at times. It's a time to look back on with joy. I had an email from your mom and with deep sadness we read that the chemo had not done what so many had prayed for. I enjoy reading your blog and your honesty about your feelings. We have prayed daily for your family that God would take away this terrible desease. Your writings bring tears to my eyes, you are such an inspiration to so many. I still always think about the "Weaver" poem. We are so thankful that your mom is doing a better. Here is a text we hope may comfort you both. Psalm 94:19 "In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul".

Under His wings I am safely abiding, though the night deepens and the tempest are wild; Still I can trust Him; I know He will keep me, He has redeemed me, and I am His child.
May God grant you His peace.
Love Peter & Susan Nauta

Paulette said...

Annette, my name is Paulette. I saw your need for prayer on another site I had visited earlier today. I came by to read your blog and have spent a few minutes in prayer here.
I am all to familiar with cancer, not having it myself but having two of my dearest friends battled it for several years at the same time. I made it a priority to be with them both to be supportive and basically go to treatments and such with them.
I am going to come here often to lend my support to you through prayer and listening.
I am sorry for your news of the cancer returning but God is still in the miracle business. I have you and your family in my daily prayer journal. I do not take that lightly.
Blessings to you, and your family.