I know EXACTLY what I'm doing....but does that stop me?? I have had the biggest urge lately to SHOP... to buy things. I don't know exactly what I want, but I want something. It's superficial, materialistic and only lasts a short while, but for that short while, it makes me happy. Yup, I am compensating for this cancer crap. I feel bad for the kids that I can't do much with them so I buy them stuff. Today I bought them a video (well, I think it's probably more for me... The Princess Bride is one of my favourite movies of all time and I want to share it with them). Yesterday I bought them a tether ball type game to bring to the cottage. The day before I bought them an educational game. Ryan had a gift certificate for the toy store and I bought Fun Thinkers for him and Kurtis enjoyed it so much, I went back and got the correct age level book for him. I buy them food I would never otherwise let them have. Kurtis got a pair of Crocs that he really doesn't need.
As for me? I've been feeling a little bit down the past two weeks. I know most of it is because I am exhausted and when my body is exhausted, my emotional state isn't always the best. I needed to get a new phone yesterday as a little boy, who found the phone sitting beside the sink, thought it needed a wash along with the dishes. Instead of buying the cheapest phone in the store, which I would normally do as I don't use my cell phone very much at all, I instead bought a slightly upgraded version... it's pink and has a camera! Today I bought an adaptor for the car so I can use my iPod in the car. I bought myself some new sunglasses. I've bought myself two paperback books in the past week. I bought myself a pair of Crocs as well... as if I need another pair of summer shoes. For someone who says she's exhausted, I seem to be doing a good job of getting out shopping, don't I? I'm just a very quick shopper.
Intellectually I know exactly what I'm doing and I know this isn't good for the long term. But I gotta admit,,, it's a bit fun to spend money on some toys! They're not huge purchases I know... they're not going to break the bank, but it's something I'm very conscious of as I don't like to buy stuff "just because". In the meantime, the kids are loving it! :)
And maybe I'll just go out and get a speaker set to go with the iPod so we can have some music up at the cottage.....