Friday, July 20, 2007

Life goes on

It's been an odd week. It's really amazing how much life just goes on - especially with two small children to take care of and to be strong for. I'm trying not to think too much about what's going on - and succeeding to a fairly good extent. Perhaps it's a form of self preservation - my brain giving me the time to process this at my speed (i.e. slowly). Perhaps it's also because we've been busy... or perhaps I've been keeping myself busy so I DON'T have to think about it. In any event, it's amazing how life has been going on fairly normally. We visited friends in Indiana on the weekend...went to African Lion Safari on Tuesday....visited with my sister, her children and my Dad on Wednesday....ran errands on Thursday and went to celebrate my niece's birthday today....

I am also starting too look at the many alternatives available to me.... and there are many. It's a bit overwhelming as there really are a ton of choices! I have received many, many suggestions over the past year and I am thankful to all the people who provided me with that information. My analytical and organizational brain is going to make a list of all my options - together with pros and cons - so I can see it all in one place. Please pray that God will lead me to the right choices.

And I do have my moments, don't get me wrong. I am human, after all. My faith is taking a bit of a beating - it isn't always strong. I feel like I'm taking a bit of beating too. Sometimes it feels like God isn't there or isn't listening. I do remind myself that God is holding me close, even though sometimes I don't feel it - and lately I don't always feel that God is listening. I'm reminded of that poem, "Footprints" in which the poet, throughout his life saw two sets of footprints walking on the sand. At the end of his life, he could see that there were times where there was only one set of footprints - and this was at the lowest times in his life. When he asked God why that was, God replied that those times where when God carried him. So I remind myself that right now, there is only one set of footprints as I'm truly unable to walk by myself. I was also comforted this week by a vist from my pastor. It was wonderful to talk to him about what we're going through, my faith and God's place in this situation.

I'm rambling a bit again as my thoughts are all over the place. Please keep me and my family in your prayers. Pray for wisdom as we work through the various options available to us; pray for comfort and for God's presence; and pray for strength to go about our day-to-day activities.

13 comments:

Denise said...

Annette,
I think about you and your family every day, I wish you strength, positive energy and hope.
With Love
Denise

Anonymous said...

Annette,

"Footprints" is a beautiful passage, one of my favorites. Please know that I also carry you in my heart and prayers. I am so happy that you know the Lord is there for you.

Hugs,
Stephanie & Katie (8)

Nicole said...

Annette praying for a peaceful heart, the right decisions to be made and strength and energy for you honey. You are so beautiful and I really believe God expects us to doubt in times like these. I am praying for His presence to be known to you. I love you!

Mendelt said...

Dearest Annette,

Know that we pray with you.
Know that we groan with you.
Know that we grow with you.

Love Mendelt and Marisa

mum2brady said...

Annette - thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. I'm glad you've been able to enjoy some really fun things this week - loved the pics of your IRL gathering :) You are wonderful and I know God is listening and watching over you and I pray that he will lead you and your doctors to the path that will help you the most.

Sending lots of love and prayers your way!

Christine said...

Annette,
I got to your website thanks to Nic! I wanted to stop by to tell you how much I miss you & hearing about your sweet Ryan, and of course Kurtis too! Even though I haven't stayed connected online, you have been in my thoughts & prayers since Christine shared the news with me. You are a strong, inspirational woman, may you have faith and peace in your heart as you continue to fight this battle.

BTW Abby sounds so much like Ryan, we're working on no hugging strangers too..or telling them she loves them :) LOL! I want a Ryan hug so badly...and I'd give anything to give you a real hug my friend. I miss you so much & will continue to pray for you and your precious, beautiful family.

Much Love,
Many Hugs & Kisses,
Christine & Abby (jcabigail@verizon.net)

Joe said...

Annette,
This is Joe (Niole's husband) and you have been on my mind a lot. I just finished praying for you and the requests you have. Thank you for giving us specifics on what to pray for. I have faith that God will carry you as long as you need and your footprints will be in the sand again...before you know it. Thank you for sharing.
Joe

chris said...

Thinking of you and praying for you daily, Annette. I know that you will make the decision that is right for you.
Many hugs from me and smooches from Nana

Mauzy said...

thinking of you honey and I sure will add some extra "good decision" prayers. I am thankful we got to hunt for frogs together in Indiana and Tooty Ta!
Lots of love,

Tara Marie said...

Do you have the series "Life goes on"? If not, I"ll send you ours, as it is such a great show to pop a bowl of popcorn, grab a drink and sit with the kid and watch.

You are always in my thoughts and prayers....and I know that you will find the right path for you and that GOD will carry through this time.

All of our love, TM

luvmypeanut said...

Annette, please know you have my thoughts and prayers. I too enjoyed the pictures from IN!

Everyone has said it really well...so I'm here to say DITTO!

Luv ya!

Lisa said...

Just wanted to add our hugs and love and say how many times I have thought about your adorable Ryans hugs and how bad my boy just wanted to go home with you and your amazing family ;) Am so glad to hear you are keeping busy doing fun things. You know I believe the Lord helps us find his perspective even when we are struggling and it is more than okay to let him carry you awhile. As my favorite quote from Mother Theresa says: "Lord, I know you would never give me more than I can handle, but sometimes I wish you wouldn't trust me so much." Many more hugs and lots of prayers!

Annette said...

Tara marie, I do have the published DVD's of Life Goes On - thanks for the offer though! We just haven't watched them yet. I'm going to get them out next time we have "movie night".